Author: OH SHIT ILLUMINATI

Regular

one-time-i-dreamt:

I talked to a young man with white hair on a boat cabin in the middle of a stormy sea. He forgot everything about himself exept for the fact that his name rhymed with ‘Time’ so he started calling himself Time.

I offered him an orange in exchange for a meaningful chat. He took the slice and told me “Nothing’s set in stone, but they’re set in a dirt road. If you roll your wagon in the same path too much it’ll soon be the only path you can take without struggling.”

Regular

implicating:

*texts bae at 3am* hey baby, according to this buzzfeed quiz you’re only 48% in love with me ????? hmm 📝

Regular

pajamaben:

Rules for meeting a dog:

1) be cool

2) pet it

3) do not steal it

4) stop running from the owner

5) put it down

6) this isn’t worth jail time

6 is a LIE, it is most definitely worth the jail time….

Photo

Photo

Regular

magikyle:

rolanslide: the-transfeminine-mystique: throwb…

rolanslide:

the-transfeminine-mystique:

throwback to my ladies 500 years ago who knew how to fuckin party

Regular

arsenalguts:

me to the little ceasers man: beware the ides of march

little ceaser: pizza pizza

Regular

seedeaters:

im-a-fully-realized-creation:

war-lesbian:

beachgothgay:

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

captainsnoop: dasha-henshins: drcyan: dasha…

captainsnoop:

dasha-henshins:

drcyan:

dasha-henshins:

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

stop reblogging this i meant to write 1347

ive irreparably fucked up this doge meme. i’m a disgrace.

The rats weren’t carrying the plague, it was the fleas on the rats.

I guess busses dont carry people since they just carry seats and the seats have people, then?

If an armed militia travels by bus and exits the bus to kill people, you don’t say those people were killed by the bus.

doge’s pet rat is fucking sick and you are arguing about busses? fucking busses? 

Regular

lesbiantiana:

some of you never got your lips stuck in a gate ten days after you turned 8 and your friends all laughed and you just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and you had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and you couldn’t even talk to each other until the fifth week because both your lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he just spoke polish and you only knew like three words in polish except now you know four because oscar taught you the word for lip, “usta”

and it shows