i am not microwave or dishwasher safe



me: *turns up to court in a fursuit* “hi I’m your public defurnder :3c”

me: *tears in my eyes begging the judge* ill plead guilty if you arrest them too



Winona Ryder in Heathers (1988)
Natalia Dyer in Stranger Things (2016)

Stop adding stupid fucking photos to this post!!!




shout out to the patient I called to remind to pick up their medication, whose voicemail message was “HEWWO? HEWWO?? WHO IS THIS??? WEAVE A MESSAGE” that rang out throughout the whole pharmacy, killing me instantly

the one time I’m like “this is the one time I dreamed blog” and it isn’t




that reminds me of a couple years ago when my dumbass stupid bee post was going around and someone was trying to argue w me abt how unethical beekeeping for honey was so i was like “ahaha what? i don’t beekeep for the honey i throw that nasty goop out! i eat the bees. crunchy” and i thought they were going to try and kill me in real life

Pawns in the world game.

Mr. Smith gets blackpilled.







honestly my favorite new phenomenon is the haiku bot coming in at the end of super serious posts. it’s like watching a supervillain come to a crushing defeat and then getting run over by a roomba.

The haikubot does not detect actual haiku. The artistry of haiku is that every line contains a thought or image that can be separated and still understood with the poem as a whole coming together to form a bigger idea or image.

The haikubot just detects sentences of 5-7-5 syllables and calls it a day. It’s an insult to the art form. Reading an actual haiku can be a spiritual experience.

You sound like a damn elitist bastard from the school of snobbery

you sound like a damn
elitist bastard from the
school of snobbery

^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

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