fruitblush:

i am not microwave or dishwasher safe

flanneldragon:

trickytwitch:

me: *turns up to court in a fursuit* “hi I’m your public defurnder :3c”

me: *tears in my eyes begging the judge* ill plead guilty if you arrest them too

wonderwallmp3:

cohvenant:

Winona Ryder in Heathers (1988)
Natalia Dyer in Stranger Things (2016)

Stop adding stupid fucking photos to this post!!!

image

theawesomeadventurer:

everyday-younglife:

shout out to the patient I called to remind to pick up their medication, whose voicemail message was “HEWWO? HEWWO?? WHO IS THIS??? WEAVE A MESSAGE” that rang out throughout the whole pharmacy, killing me instantly

the one time I’m like “this is the one time I dreamed blog” and it isn’t

Photo

Photo

strongermonster:

that reminds me of a couple years ago when my dumbass stupid bee post was going around and someone was trying to argue w me abt how unethical beekeeping for honey was so i was like “ahaha what? i don’t beekeep for the honey i throw that nasty goop out! i eat the bees. crunchy” and i thought they were going to try and kill me in real life

Pawns in the world game.

Mr. Smith gets blackpilled.

callmebliss:

lycaanroc:

haiku-robot:

stalker-among-the-stars:

prettypinkdork:

clitclip:

honestly my favorite new phenomenon is the haiku bot coming in at the end of super serious posts. it’s like watching a supervillain come to a crushing defeat and then getting run over by a roomba.

The haikubot does not detect actual haiku. The artistry of haiku is that every line contains a thought or image that can be separated and still understood with the poem as a whole coming together to form a bigger idea or image.

The haikubot just detects sentences of 5-7-5 syllables and calls it a day. It’s an insult to the art form. Reading an actual haiku can be a spiritual experience.

You sound like a damn elitist bastard from the school of snobbery

you sound like a damn
elitist bastard from the
school of snobbery


^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

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Contact: thathaikubot@gmail.com | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!